Words by Jenna Marie Masters | Illustrations by Marie Warner Preston
Has the need for answers ever caused you to distance yourself from God? So often, just like Eve did in the garden, we trade intimacy for information, inviting in fear and shame, and robbing ourselves of all that the Father longs to pour into our lives. Be encouraged afresh to turn towards God and to trust in the plans and purposes He has for you.
The phone rings, and I brace myself. It’s just the eye doctor. I send the call to voicemail and surrender to tears.
Please, Father. Give me answers.
It’s court day. I’m waiting to hear if our foster daughter will stay with us for six more months or if she’ll go back to her biological mother.
God, please. You know. Why won’t you just tell me everything so I can have peace?!
And just like that, I was a modern-day Eve—desiring answers more than I desired my Abba Father in Heaven. I had convinced myself I could find peace outside of His glorious presence.
Eve had the honour of walking in the cool of the evening with her Father God. She had unimaginable intimacy with the craftsman of her soul. Yet when she was offered the chance to know more—more than the presence of God—she bit.
Eve trades intimacy for information. It is a devastating mistake. She gains knowledge of good and evil, yet the first thing she does is confuse the two. She covers up her nakedness, acting as if what God planned and declared ‘good’ is shameful.
Soon after, the Lord looks for Eve and her husband in the garden. God knows she needs peace, and only His presence can provide it. But now that their sin has left them exposed, they are afraid of the very One they once delighted in, and so they “hid themselves from the presence of the Lord among the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8 NASB). When God finds them, He asks, “‘Who told you that you were naked?’” (v.11). In other words, “Who told you something is wrong with what I’ve planned for your life? Who said what I’ve provided isn’t enough?”
We do the same thing. When we need God’s peace the most, we often question His purposes and run from Him. Sometimes we flee in anger, sometimes in shame, sometimes dragging grief or fear of the unknown. The trouble is, the moment we pull ourselves from the presence of the Lord, anxiety rises and we do crazy things. Adam and Eve sew clothes out of fig leaves thinking they have the power to cover themselves in peace; I spend vast amounts of time and energy seeking answers on Facebook and texting veteran foster mamas on court days. We search for answers elsewhere, looking for someone to help us stitch together what we think the Lord won’t. What we communicate to God through this behaviour is that we would rather know God’s plans than know Him. But if we believe Scripture is true, then we already know God’s plans for us: good plans to prosper and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
So when the serpent whispers devious words in my ear—“Did God really say that?”—I will think of my sister Eve and remember that God is not withholding delicious fruits from me because He’s a careless Father; He is a kind Father who knows what is best for me. I will remember how, even when God’s daughter didn’t trust His word, when she hid in shame, separated from His presence, God still had a plan.
And His plan was good.
God compassionately made the first sacrifice to cover His children’s shame in garments of skin. But the covering was only temporary, for the Fall produced a curse of thorns (v.18). Thousands of years later, King Jesus, “becoming the curse for us,” wore those thorns as a crown, suffered the final sacrifice, and rose from the grave—so we could walk in the garden with Him again (Galatians 3:13).
I remind myself of all of this as I turn my phone on silent, close my eyes, and pray: “Father God, help me to pursue Your presence over understanding Your purposes. I want to walk with You, Abba, more than I want answers.”
Where in your life have you been trading information for intimacy? What would it look like for you to relinquish control and connect your heart to the Father’s?